It Changes by the Minute Around Here

I played "text-tag" with Josh all morning. I was trying to figure out where the game was, what group he was pitching with, what inning he'd be pitching so that I didn't have to chase McKenzie around in circles for 9 innings, etc. Details, details, details. I think it's girl thing. I've got to have it all figured out right here & right now. 

To offset my nervous energy, I decided to clean the bathroom that I had been avoiding for over a week. While I do despise it, cleaning does wonderful things for the soul. Scrubbing toilets is an ideal setting for praying, which at least deflects the disgusting nature of the job at hand. So I scrubbed and I prayed and scrubbed and prayed some more. 

Then the phone rang. It was Josh. He didn't have to throw in the game this afternoon. The powers-that-be gave him the option of throwing in a simulated game or going to the 1 o'clock game and pitching an inning. Running on 2 hours of sleep, he opted for the simulated game and would be ready to go at 1 pm. 

My heart soared! It was such a relief in so many ways. He was done pitching and had done great! Hallelujah. Thank you, Lord! He would be done at 1 and could come home and sleep. He definitely needed it. Finally, I did not have to be brave and go be the lone female in the baseball pack of alpha males for two hours while chasing my precious little energy-ball of enthusiasm around in circles. 

Everyone is napping now and I plan on joining them. Actually I might sit down and read "Pride and Prejudice" for the 7th or 8th time. I was craving something familiar so my mom thoughtfully sent me my original paperback Penguin edition of Jane Austen's classic. Opening the book and seeing the words I underlined and my younger sisters' impressions of the book and the date they finished reading it inscribed in the back flap was like getting a bear hug from home. I can't wait to savour the familiar story one more time. 

With that, I will sign off for the day. Josh remains on the Norfolk roster, for which we humbly thank our gracious heavenly Father. Thank you for your effectual prayers. Please continue to ask that the Lord grant Josh favor in the sight of the coordinators as they make the final roster decisions and that if it be God's will we break camp with triple-A. 

May God be gracious to us and bless us and make his face to shine upon us, that his way may be known on earth, his saving power to all nations. 

Psalm 67:1-3 

A Very Late Night

Josh did not pitch last night after all. They left Port St. Lucie at 9:30 PM and should have arrived here around midnight. Because of a head-on collision and a fatality on the two lane highway they were traveling on , they did not get back until almost 4 AM. Thankfully, the coordinator who drove the "shuttle" dropped Josh off here at the house so I did not have to drive down to the field and pick him up at o'dark-thirty. 

We got about 3 hours of sleep before it was time to get up and get back to the field. No rest for the weary. Josh is scheduled to pitch this afternoon against the Reds, who mercifully are here in Sarasota. As far as I know he is still on the Norfolk roster, but will be pitching for Bowie this afternoon. Please pray that despite his exhaustion he will go out with strength and confidence and that the Lord bless him with an excellent outing. 

Although we were disappointed he didn't get to pitch last night, we are so thankful that the Lord brought him home safely and know that God is working according to our good and His glory. As you go about your day, keep the family members of the people who died in that crash in your prayers. It is frightening to think how easily that could be someone in your family. 

Have a blessed Tuesday!!! 

Ridin' the Roller Coaster

It is 7:30 and the house is still quiet. Normally by this time Josh has already eaten, dressed, read our devotional and is getting ready to walk out the door. Not today. 

It all started two days ago when I picked him up from the field. 

"So are you pitching tomorrow?" 

"Yep. I am still on the Norfolk (triple-A) roster, but they have me scheduled to pitch with Bowie (double-A)." 

"Oh. They probably just want to make sure you get your innings in. Do you care?" 

"Not really. I'm still pitching. I just have to go out there and do the same thing. They have just as good of hitters down there." 

"That's true. But you'll be great!" 

My heart played tug-0f-war that afternoon between the temptation to doubt God's perfect plan and the conviction that I must trust Him implicitly. I felt like the Lord was saying to me, "Stephanie, this is a test. Do you trust me to accomplish my best for you?" 

We went to church that evening. During praise and worship, while McKenzie was trying to give her baby doll a piggy-back ride on my shoulders, I was reminded of our prime purpose on this earth: to worship and glorify God. Baseball is just a catalyst for His glory. I knew the Lord was asking me to let go and let Him be God. I had to surrender. Honestly, it was only by His grace because my controlling human heart would rather have held on to the worry and anxiety and tried to handle it alone, but there is such peace when we finally let Christ carry the weight. 

Letting go was freeing. We went home, Josh grilled hot dogs, I heated up the chili beans, and we had a good ol' American supper: chili dogs. It was great fun! 

We woke up the next morning to lightning and the sound of rain gushing down the drain pipes. I began to have doubts about there being any game that day. Games are never called (canceled) until the last possible moment, so we proceeded with our normal routine. By the time McKenzie and I got home after dropping Josh off, it was pouring. The games were to be in Port Charlotte, and from the radar on weather.com it didn't look they were fairing much better than we were. 

Nevertheless, I kept praying for Josh, that he would be ready for the game in body, mind, and spirit. I did the dishes, and washed and folded the laundry. The sky was still pouring rain at 9:30. It did not look promising. Josh called shortly after: the games were canceled. 

Back in the car we went to pick him up from the field. We were going to have an impromptu off-day. How delightful! When he got in the car he said he would throw Monday in either a simulated game or the Bowie or Norfolk game and that he was still on the Norfolk roster. 

I am a slow learner, but it began to dawn on me that the Lord knows where and when it is best for him to pitch, so all afternoon I prayed that the Lord would have him pitch with the team which would be the most advantageous and that the Lord would grant him favor and grace in the sight of the coordinators. 

We had a wonderfully relaxing afternoon. I took a two hour nap, Josh got to watch Tiger Woods win the Arnold Palmer Invitational (Josh can't believe he survived for whole year without watching Tiger), and McK took a long nap and helped me go grocery shopping. I was cleaning up after a late dinner when the house phone rang. I figured it was either my mom or the land-lady. 

"Hello."

"Yes. Hello. Is this Stephanie?" said a man's voice. 

"Yes it is," I said hesitantly. 

"Is Josh there?" 

"He is. May I tell him who's speaking." 

"Len Johnson." (Len is the Orioles minor league camp coordinator.) 

"Just one moment, please." 

I motioned for Josh. 

"Hello. Ok. Great. 1 o'clock. I'll be there." 

He was going as back-up with the big league team again. This time to Port St. Lucie on the other side of the state for a 7 PM game against the Mets. 

I plopped down on the coach and laughed. I guess the Lord figured the big league team would be the most advantageous place for Josh to play today. I turned to McKenzie and said, "Welcome to the baseball roller coaster, Baby Girl. Just as soon as you relax and let it go the phone rings and off you go again." 

Since Josh doesn't have to be at the complex until lunch time, he and the baby slept in this morning and we had a nice leisurely breakfast. I am thankful that we can spend the morning together. We won't see Josh 'til early tomorrow morning when he gets back from the game, probably around 1 or 2 AM. It is three hours to and from Port St. Lucie, so McKenzie and I will be cheering Josh on over the internet from home. 

We are so thankful for this opportunity and are praying that if the Lord wills, Josh have the opportunity to pitch and that he goes out with boldness, courage, and victory, bringing God all the glory through his work. Thank you for your continued prayers. You can keep track of the box score on the Orioles' website, and I will post an update as soon as I can after the game. 

Have a blessed Monday! 

My mouth will tell of your righteous acts, of your deeds of salvation all the day, for their number is past my knowledge. With the mighty deeds of the Lord God I will come; I will remind them of your righteousness, yours alone. 

Psalm 71:15-16 

My Soul Magnifies the Lord

Josh's outing yesterday was great. 3 outs, 7-8 pitches. We are praising and thanking God for the blessing of a strong outing. As Mary, the Mother of Christ, so appropriately said...

My soul magnifies the Lord, and my spirit rejoices in God my Savior... for he who is mighty has done great things for me and holy is his name.  

Luke 2:46,49 

Nevertheless, today was not a day of rejoicing for all baseball families. The Orioles released a few players, one who is married with a two year old son. Other players we know were released from other organizations. As with any profession, losing a job is very difficult, especially when that is what you have done your entire life. Please pray that the Lord would strengthen and provide for these families and lead them down a good and gracious path. 

Infinite Perfections

Hanging in the fog between sleep and wakefulness last night, stripped of all bolstering strengths, my heart rushed to the brink of tears as the various possibilities of the coming months danced in phantasmic forms before me. Out of the darkness, the Holy Spirit brought the words of Christ from Matthew 6:31-33 to mind. 

"Therefore do not be anxious, saying, 'What shall we eat?' or 'What shall we drink?' or 'What shall we wear?' ... Your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness and all these things will be added to you." 

After that, I fell asleep. 

Thinking about that verse, I am reminded of all the ways the Lord has blessed us and how He never fails to provide for us. On our refrigerator, the following lists are posted. The one on the left is the Spring Training Schedule and the list of coordinators and coaches. The one on the right is a list of the great things God has done for us as Samuel admonishes the people of Israel to remember in 1 Sam. 12:24.

This is a cogent reminder of where our hearts must be focused and who is really the Coordinator of All. Last night, Josh and I were discussing how it is comforting to know that while the Coordinators and GM's may write the decisions on paper, it is our good and gracious Father who makes the ultimate choices, directing times, people, and places according to His good and perfect will. 

There are 10 days left of Spring Training, and generally, these are the most stressful as the final cuts are made and the rosters finalized. Josh pitches today and will probably have two more outings after that. We are praying that he would be brave and strong, that his mechanics would be excellent, his pitches sharp, and his work effective. 

We praise and thank our loving God and Father for the wonderful blessings He has given us in the last three weeks and the success He has given Josh. We know that all good things come from His hand and praise Him humbly for them. It is to Him and Him alone we direct our thanksgiving and praise. 

Matthew Henry said, every stream should lead us to the fountain and the favours we receive from God should raise our admiration of the infinite perfections there are in God.  

We are confident that the Lord is directing our path and look forward with anticipation to our future destination as ambassadors of Christ. 

Green Dresses and Good Baseball

For the second year in a row, I bought a sundress to kick-off spring training. It is a floor-length, kelly green dress with an empire waist and a sweetheart neckline. I don't ever wear dresses that long because of my height, but this dress actually made me look taller, if you can imagine that. 

It was outside my comfort zone, but I decided to be brave and buy it. I put it in my closet and tried it on several times. Finally I decided to take the plunge. Josh was pitching at home on Sunday, which dawned sunny and breezy. By all indications, the perfect day for a green sundress. All morning I did pep talks.

"It's a free country," I told myself. "I can wear whatever I darn well please to a baseball game. If they think I'm weird, who cares. Let them think what they want." 

At 1:15, the big moment came. It was time to put the dress on in all it's flowing greenness. I had planned to wear flip-flops. One pair made me look like a flower-child and the other looked ridiculously dorky. The most attractive option was my flax pumps with a three inch heel. I really looked tall now. What is it about height that imbues power? 

I could "feel the power" but I could also feel the nausea building in my stomach. I am not generally a proponent of wearing heels to baseball games, though I do it from time to time when my pants are too long or when I feel fat and want to look taller. While of course being terribly cute, they are terribly impractical, often hideously uncomfortable, and at times dreadfully dangerous as metal bleachers tend to snag shoes and trip their occupants. 

I had already committed time, money, and energy to this dress. I wasn't about to let wearing heels stop me. So I didn't. I slipped on those heels, grabbed the baby, and off we went before I had time to have second thoughts. We arrived at the field at 2:30. Josh was not scheduled to pitch until the 9th inning. It should be about the 5th inning. Perfect timing. 

The field is part of a city park. Like most city parks, it's a shorts and t-shirt atmosphere. The fields are arranged in clover-leaf fashion, with the player parking lot and the clubhouse on the north side. A long, blacktop path runs from the clubhouse to the center of the cloverleaf, where all the bleachers are located. Players, coaches, trainers, friends, family, and fans regularly walk back and forth on this path. 

I took a deep breath and started down the path with as much grace as I could muster, pushing McKenzie in her stroller, my green dress blowing around me in the breeze. A few players walked by and just sort of looked at me. I mustered a friendly, disinterested "Hi, how are you?" and marched on. If this was anything like running the gauntlet, I felt the pain of past sufferers. At long last, I got to the bleachers, which provided no respite whatsoever. 

The double-a and triple-a teams were playing on two separate fields. In addition to the players in the game, there are countless other players in running shorts and turf shoes, watching the game, charting, catching foul balls, or hanging around laughing, spitting great wads of spit with their buddies. When Josh was with the Nationals, I could figure out which field he was on by seeing who else was in each group. I don't know the Orioles' players well enough to do that yet. 

There I was, green from head to heal, getting stared at by the gum-spitters, trying to protect the baby from foul balls hurtling out of both fields, and straining with every ounce of eyeball muscle to find Josh. Thankfully, he put me out of my obvious confusion by stepping out of the dug-out and waving. 

What a relief! I did have a legitimate reason to be there. The rest of the game was spent trying to keep McKenzie out of the way of the players and coaches milling around, trying not to get my heels caught in the hem of the dress, and trying to watch and pray for Josh in between it all. 

He came on about 30 minutes after we got there with two outs in the 7th and runners on 1st and 3rd. A ground ball to short was all they needed to turn a double play and end the inning. He was back on in the 8th, struck out the first hitter, gave up a double to the second, struck out the third, walked the fourth, and got the 5th out on a pop fly to short. It was not as clean as he would have liked, but it was strong and he showed he could pitch in tough situations. Thank you Lord! 

He is scheduled to throw again Wednesday. We are praying a few things: that his arm/shoulder stays strong and healthy; that he is able to consistently get on top of the ball and throw strikes to the inside; and that he keep his arm up while pitching. The Lord has truly been answering all our prayers and we thank you for joining us as we seek His direction for us this season. 

Love to all! 

Popsicles at Midnight

Even without baseball, life is always exciting. McKenzie woke up at 3:50 am with a fever. Motrin and a popsicle seemed to solve the immediate problem. She was asleep again by 5. We took Josh to the field at 7:40 and are now resting, watching "Mickey Mouse Club House." I think we will go out for a run shortly so that my little invalid can get some vitamin D and we can both get some fresh air. 

Josh's cold is getting better, though he still sounds a bit underwater. He is scheduled to pitch tomorrow, so please pray that he is 100% by then. 

May you have a delightful Saturday! 

Called out on Strikes

Thank you so much for all your prayers for Josh yesterday. He pitched two innings, striking out two, walking one. The first batter he faced was called out on strikes. A fantastic first outing! Thank you, Lord! He said his splitter was great and his only complaint was that he got "under the ball"  instead of  "on top of the ball" on a few pitches. Thas to do with the angle of his arm during the wind-up and release.

This was the first time Josh threw in an actual game and we are so very thankful for this great start to spring training. He said he probably won't throw again until Sunday, but I'll keep everyone updated. 

Please continue to pray that the Lord grants Josh favor in the sight of the coordinators and coaches and that Josh would be filled with confidence, courage, and a steadfast mind and heart so that he will be able to honor the Lord with excellence in his work and be a witness for His glory. 

This afternoon, McKenzie and I are planning a PB&J picnic at the beach. We wish you all could join us! We'd even pack an extra pickle- McK's favorite snack of the week. 

"That God should have made the extension of His kingdom to such an extent dependent on the faithfulness of His people in prayer is a stupendous mystery and yet an absolute certainty."  

~Andrew Murray~

The Funny Farm

On Tuesday, McKenzie and I were exploring Sarasota on our way to pick Josh up at the field. It's always interesting to drive around new cities. I see and find the most interesting things. I almost hit an Amish/Mennonite gentleman riding the biggest tricycle I've ever seen while turning out of a shopping plaza. I discovered that Sarasota doesn't believe in continuing streets for long periods of time, but prefers to abruptly punctuate them with golf courses or retirement mobile home parks. And finally, I discovered the infamous "Funny Farm." 

We were driving through a residential neighborhood when it appeared out of nowhere. It was a large ranch style house with a big yard with a jungle gym. Everything was fenced, but the swinging wooden sign, prominently hung on a tall poll, announced that I had arrived at "The Funny Farm." 

I had to laugh. The last few days I've felt like I was going to lose my mind and have to be taken off to the Funny Farm. Between Josh having a cold, which for any man means that he is at death's door, McKenzie stuffing remote controls in the VCR, and the nearly constant lack of something to do other than laundry, cleaning, cooking, and wiping the oatmeal smears off the glass table for the nine-hundredth and ninety-ninth time, I truly thought I might be committed. But now that I know what it looks like, maybe it's not such a bad place. I could spend all day climbing on the jungle gym. 

I'll have to take a picture of the sign. Then next time I have a "Funny Farm" day/days, I'll post it and you can all pray that I don't lose my mind, at least not permanently. 

Today, that should not be a problem. Josh is pitching this afternoon in the Triple-A game against the Rays in Port Charlotte, which is about 50 miles south of Sarasota. I think that Port Charlotte is such a pretty sounding name for a city. I like trying names of cities as children's names, but I don't think that naming a child Port Charlotte Perrault would really be an option. 

Don't laugh, one has to do something to entertain themselves while traversing miles and miles and miles of U.S. interstate. 

All joking aside, I am so thankful for the Lord's abundant blessings in our life. Josh is feeling much better this morning, and should by God's grace be "on his game" today. Please pray that the Lord would grant him success in his labors and that Josh's work would bring the Lord glory. 

May you all have a blessed and delightful Thursday! 

The people whom I formed for Myself will declare my praise." ~ Isaiah 43:21 

Take Me Out to the Crowd

Crowded would be the best way to describe the atmosphere today at Hammond Stadium, the Spring Training home of the Minnesota Twins. Every seat held a person and a body occupied every square foot of concrete. The blistering heat (85 in Florida = 105 in Phoenix) added a sweaty veneer. It was a faithful crowd. No one left until the 7th inning. Spring Training fans are a dedicated lot. 

McKenzie and I arrived in the second inning, which was early for us. It's been six months since I've had to dress myself and the baby and then drive, park, and get tickets. Doesn't sound like much, I know, but getting dressed for a game can sometimes be a dilemma. First, there is always the quandary over what to where- should I dress-up or dress down? Do I wear heels or flats? Do I want to have "player's wife" written all over me or not? That's a lot to figure out in 15 minutes while the baby is going through the nail polish bag trying to clip her toe nails, then squirting water all over the house with the spray bottle, after you've chased her around for 5 minutes trying to get her changed and dressed. 

The gears were a little rusty, but we got there and squeezed our way between mounds of people to go wave at Josh in the bull pen. (He's the one dead-center. It's not a great shot, but that's the best I could do from several hundred feet away between guard rails.)

We then navigated our way through the sea of sweat to our seats and slathered our arms, legs, and faces with sun screen. Why stadiums think that having every seat bake in the sun is desirable, I have yet to determine. Maybe one day I'll find the answer. 

An inning or so later, McKenzie was ready for lunch. Off we went. Squeezing, ducking, slithering between people until we finally made our way to the concession stand to wait in line. By the time we returned to section 205 with hot dog, water, and frozen lemonade in hand, it was the 5th inning. McKenzie wasn't too interested in the hot dog, but loved the lemonade.

She was a great little fan and didn't even fall apart until she tried to get down to the bull pen in the 8th inning to see her daddy. I kept praying that if it be for Josh's good and God's glory, he would get the opportunity to pitch. I guess he warmed-up once in the 7th, but they didn't end up needing him. Josh motioned for us to leave before the stampede started. 

Waves of irritation started to lap at the shore of my heart as I lugged the baby to the car while she threw an all out, back-arching fit. Exhausted, I climbed into the car, turned the air on high, and got an iced latte at Starbucks. As I headed north on I-75, the Holy Spirit reminded me of the bible study I have been doing on prayer, which included the following quote from Oswald Chambers: 

Some prayers are followed by silence because they are wrong, others because they are bigger than we can understand. Jesus stayed where He was -- a positive staying, because he loved Martha and Mary. Did they get Lazarus back? They got infinitely more; they got to know the greatest truth mortal beings ever knew -- that Jesus Christ is the Resurrection and the Life. It will be a wonderful moment when we stand before God and find that the prayers we clamored for in early days and imagined were never answered, have been answered in the most amazing way, and that God's silence has been the sign of the answer. If we always want to be able to point to something and say, "This is the way God answered my prayer," God cannot trust us yet with His silence. 

Clumps of palmetto trees flew past my window as I slurped the last of my latte. I knew in my heart that the good Lord had answered my prayer, although I knew not how. Someday I will know, but even if I never do it is enough to know that He hears and loves me. 

Nothing Much Happened at Work Today

Baseball is a lot like life. You wake up one morning. Eat your oatmeal. Drink your coffee. Start the cross-word puzzle. Shave, then go to work. 15 minutes on the bike. Do a little stretching and head out to the field. Should be a slow day. The coordinator stops you on the way out the door. 

"You'll be going with the big league team on Monday to Fort Myers. They need you as back-up in the bullpen." 

Hmmm...good to know. 

"Other than that, Honey, nothing much happened at work today." 

Tomorrow we'll be in Ft. Myers. Today, we are going to the beach, eating roast beef for dinner, and getting locked out of the house by our two year old. (Ask me about that later.) All run of the mill sort of stuff. 

This run of the mill little family is thanking and praising our gracious heavenly Father for the wonderful opportunity Josh has to play with the big league team tomorrow. The game will be at 1 pm EST, so 10 AM AZT. 

Please join us in praying that if God sees fit, Josh will have the opportunity to pitch, that he goes out with confidence and strength, that the Lord would grant him great success in his labor, and that his work would be an offering of excellence and a sacrifice of praise to our gracious savior Jesus Christ, for it is He alone who has given Josh this ability and brought him to this place. 

If you want to follow the game, the box score will be updated live on the Orioles' webpage. For those of you whose lives do not revolve around baseball, I'll try to post a quick update tomorrow night. 

Thank you for your prayers! 

Lock and Key

The sinking in my stomach squelched my exercise induced euphoria. McKenzie and I were standing at the door of our "villa" ready for a cool drink and a snack. Holding the screen door open for McKenzie and Baby Doll, I reached to unlock the door. With a flash, the full revelation dawned glaringly upon me. I had the keys. They just weren't the right ones. 

Unbelievable. I am only six days into the season...scratch that...six days into spring training and I managed to lock myself out of the house. Apparently I'm moving up in the world of goof-ball stunts. The last two seasons I locked the baby and the keys in the car. This time, I had the baby and the keys, they just didn't have the courtesy to be the right ones and instead of excluding myself from the car, I decided to try the house. Granted, I didn't have to endure the embarrassment of calling AAA from the player parking lots of two different ball fields, breaking the door handle off a rental car in mindless hysteria or setting the car alarm off right behind the bullpen where my sweetly oblivious husband sat during the game while the locksmith pried open the car door. 

This time, we were merely relegated to walk around the neighborhood for an hour, after having already completed our CrossFit routine of pushing the jogging stoller 1/4 mile and doing 15 push-ups...8 times. This unplanned extensive fitness regime was followed by a relaxing 45 minutes on the porch waiting for Josh to get home from work. From the point of revelation 'til we reentered our abode, it was a grand two hours. The whole time I was kicking myself for not even bringing my wallet. What self-respecting jogging Mama does not bring her wallet on her morning run? Not only was I exiled from the house, I was completely unable to indulge in the somewhat soothing pastime of grocery shopping, the only genre which I can justify as absolutely necessary. I was completely stripped of all avenues of diversion. 

There is a certain pleasure though in sitting in the shade watching trees blow, unable to do a thing in the world except think and pray and savor each bite of the artfully served dessert the Lord so kindly gave me. A sweet, juicy dish of humble pie is always good for the soul, but I truly hope that the good Lord was duly amused by my performance and does not have any more such surprise servings on the menu in the near future; at least not of the lock and key variety.