I will let my words be few

This week was a humbling one for me. It began in Erie, PA, where we were finishing the last three days of a six day road trip: three in Akron, three in Erie. Josh's first time back on the mound since Columbus came in Akron, and the Lord blessed him with 1.2 innings of great success, in which he logged his first save of the season. That was last Sunday. By 8 pm that evening we were in Erie.

I had heard dreadful tales of the filthy hotel, etc., etc., in Erie, so my expectations were not high. Much to my surprise, it was not as horrible as I had anticipated. The city was a bit dirty, but we were right downtown, so maybe that accounts for it. Josh did not pitch Monday or Tuesday. Our last game there was Wednesday at noon. Josh came on in the 5th inning. His first two innings were fantastic.

After one out in his third inning on the mound (7th) he gave up a solo home run. He struck the next guy out (his 4th of the day) and then walked a guy. So there were 2 out, 1 on. He had two strikes on the next batter. The next pitch the batter swung at and missed...strike out...but the catcher dropped the ball, which negates the strikeout. The guy ran to 1st. The catcher stood up and threw to the 1st baseman, who caught the ball just in time...and then dropped it. During all this commotion, the runner who was originally on 1st made his way rapidly home, scoring a run. While it should have been an unearned run, the scorekeeper recorded it as earned, which of course affects the pitcher's ERA. Apparently, Josh's coach called the scorekeeper after the game to challenge the call, but they did not reverse it.

That was Wednesday. We drove back to Harrisburg that afternoon. Since we had just been transferred from Columbus, the team paid for two nights in a hotel, which we took advantage of. After that, we moved back in with our host family, who graciously allowed us to come back. Josh did not pitch again until Saturday night. He pitched over two innings that night as well. He also gave up a few runs.

July was such a good month for Josh, pitching wise, I struggled wondering why things had to change now. I am ashamed to say that my gut level emotions were to question the Lord's plan in all this and to be a bit frustrated in His allowing more runs to score, when what Josh seemed to need to me was a scoreless month, for which I had been praying endlessly and fervently.

But then Sunday came. Unfortunately, I was not organized enough to make it to church, so while I was burning off my frustration on the treadmill in the basement that morning, I listened to another of our AZ pastor's messages on Ecclesiastes. Chapter 5, verse 2 was his focal point:

Be not rash with your mouth, nor let your heart be hasty to utter a word before God, for God is in heaven and you are on earth. Therefore let your words be few.

The substance of his message was that what we think we need or want is not always what is best for us and what seems bad to us often turns out to be a huge blessing in the end. Translated to my life, that means that even though what occurred during the last two games and even throughout the season seems less than ideal to my finite, stat-watching mind, it is apparently part of God's perfect plan for my husband's career and our lives.

God is in heaven and has perfect perspective. I am here on earth, confined by time, finite knowledge, and my sinful human nature. Who am I to question the Lord and Maker of the Universe? Who am I to hastily bring a matter before God without taking into account His sovereignty, love, and goodness? Therefore, I was convicted and humbled, and from now on will let my words be few.

But how gracious and merciful is my Lord and Savior, who forgives my rash thoughts and frustrated prayers and who gives me a new focus for these last three weeks of the season, which are so easily just survived instead of seized. In my devotional today, which is written by other major and minor league wives, I was admonished to take advantage of every opportunity to spend time with other wives and girlfriends, fans, and other people the Lord brings in my path, for there is no assurance that I will ever see them again. This truly convicted me and will be my goal for the remaining three weeks of the 2008 season. And while I continue to pray for my husband and his success in his labors, I know that we are here for a greater purpose, and that is to share the love and joy of Christ to all we encounter.